Basement Training

bluehazard · 07-05-2005, 10:24 PM

This is an article I submitted to bb.com for the article of the week contest. Thought I'd post it here for anybody that was interested.

bluehazard · 07-05-2005, 10:25 PM

Basement Training
by bluehazard

Introduction

I would never ever train at a commercial gym on purpose if there was another option available. I would rather run down a small tree with my bashed up Sunfire and use it for bench presses in my driveway than go to a commercial gym. Nearly any other style of training would be preferable to wading through the army of 110 lbs self-styled Tuffguyz in their black knit caps and wife beaters training their “tricepts” and “bicepts” to the pounding beat of today’s trendiest music. In fact, I could go the rest of my life without stepping foot in another “health spa” or “family fitness center.”

Commercial Gyms

What about the variety of training equipment? Granted I’m a free weights kind of guy myself, but I will admit that having a few machines around would be nice. In fact, if I had them I would probably use them frequently. It would be great to have a military press machine, bench press machine, pretty much the whole line up of basic Hammer Strength Equipment. What I do NOT need is a line of twenty-five machines to train biceps. That isn’t variety, that’s just flat out ridiculous.
As for the amount of equipment found in most commercial gyms, yes there truthfully is a lot of it. They have preloaded barbells and dumbbells which could potentially save you a lot of time. Unfortunately, it doesn’t really work out that way because people just kind of take the things and leave them all over the place.
Social atmosphere? Old guys walking around the locker room naked, the tough guy crew and a bunch of lazy schlubs leaving their nasty smelly body odor all over every piece of equipment I want to use is not “social atmosphere.” Ok ok ok ok: I know, that doesn’t classify the rest of the people in the gym. I agree, there are tons of people in there. Trust me. I know. I work with the general public, and I absolutely DO NOT want to hang out with them in my spare time.
What it comes down to is that less than 5% of the people there are actually training hard, and guess what, they don’t want to hang out with you because they’re working out. Oh, and in case you weren’t sure, NOBODY there wants to see you making out with your girlfriend, and I WILL “accidentally” drop a 45 lbs plate on your toes if you come near me in your cool-guy sandals. Sandals are definitely not to be worn in the gym; you don’t need your $500 sunglasses or $1600 training outfit either. Some gyms understand this and have a “Line of Demarcation”, aka a room in the back that has nothing but power racks where you’re allowed to use chalk.

Back In the Day, and WTF Happened

Back in the day does not exist anymore at most of these gyms. Anyone who has seen Pumping Iron is in for a big surprise if they step into one of today’s urban sprawl training centers. The majority of people in today’s gyms have absolutely no desire to go and workout. Why? Well, there are a couple of reasons.
Ever see the people that kind of sit around between their pathetically easy sets that don’t challenge them at all reading books? It’s because their significant other makes them go to the gym. Gyms love members like this, it increases their revenue, they don’t make a mess, and they are not at risk for injury. The fact that they’ve been sitting in military press station that you need to use for the past 25 minutes is your problem. A 10cc shot of adrenalin to their heart wouldn’t get these losers moving, they’re too engrossed in their latest 99 cent romance novel from Wal-Mart.
Mass marketing is another reason. Many gyms survive solely on the amount of “New Years” customers that sign up for mailed-out promotions, stay for a few weeks, than are gone forever. These people would NEVER have walked into one of the dungeons of the old days. The concrete walls, flickering lights (all two of them), chalk dust and the twisted faces of people in total agony forcing out that last rep would signal nature’s “flight response” and that would be the end of that.
For this reason alone, many gyms don’t want you to train. I bet at least 1/5 of you reading this have been asked to take off some plates or flat out leave because you were warming up with 225 lbs in the squat, and that is just “too heavy” to use. They make enough money off of the New Years and Post-Thanksgiving crowd, and have no interest in risking you getting hurt. That’s a liability. Besides, they probably even sell the ultra-cool $500 sunglasses and designer workout apparel that will “Get you all the girlz yo, fo sho.”
In conclusion, they want you to spend all day:

1) Sipping from their $8 one liter bottles of water. The water fountain was removed years ago for “sanitary reasons.” In fact, you can’t bring in your own water bottle or thermos because it might tip and “stain the carpet.” Yes, the carpet, where did all of the rubber mats or concrete floor go?
2) Downing insanely marked up protein shakes that taste like camel dung. For real: Camel dung. It’s the newest Beverly Hills fad dontchaknow?
3) Making your “model faces” in the mirror while you show off your 8” “guns” and pumping out your 95 lbs bench press reps. Note: 95 lbs is only for the bigger guys, the majority prefer to rep-out with 55 lbs to get a nice “burn.”

Where Do YOU Think You’ll Make the Best Gains?

Some people are convinced that they would make the best gains around other people. Competition motivates the majority of us. Even being around other people makes us try harder. Well, we’ve just gone over the people at the commercial gym. Will being in the presence of those chumps make you train harder? Only out of fear. I am totally terrified of turning into the fat guy on the treadmill walking slower than a sloth reading about new and innovative ways to bath his cat.
In fact, if you ever even think of training hard, you’re done. Think you’re going to bench 315 there? Nope. First of all, you will be “kicked-out” of that great social circle for the simple reason that it has become accepted that NOBODY can bench 315 without using steroids. Hell, even the big guys (aka, FAT guys) only bench 185. Plus, that puts the gym at a liability, you’re gone. Oh, and don’t even think of military pressing anything near 135. That is also impossible. Worse yet, you yourself may come to believe things like this and never be able to train.
Enter the home gym. I like training in the basement. I live in Buffalo, NY and the winters can get quite chilly here. If I was in my garage, I’d probably freeze to death. (I’m sure a few of you train in such frigid if not worse conditions, for you I have great respect, you are a polar bear with fifteen pound balls of steel.) Plus, the basement has concrete walls and floors, and it can somewhat be a climate controlled environment.
You can play whatever you want in your basement. You can pound Pantera to your hearts content and never have to “turn it down” or off because you’ve offended some old hag that is sitting on an exercycle. Yes, sitting. You can train in absolute silence as well. Even better, NOBODY talks to you. Not once will you be in the middle of a heavy set when some “Master of the Iron” (aka, 6’3”, 118 lbs) walks up to inform you that your form is totally incorrect and that you should train like him.
As for people occupying the equipment you want to use? No way, this is your house. Who the hell are these people? Beat them to a bloody pulp and leave them duct taped in the attic.
At home you compare yourself to yourself. Too many people plant themselves into groups at the gym. They see themselves as about that strong, or big, or lean or whatever, and cannot get out of that group. Humans are social herd animals and can dupe themselves into being far less than what they could have been. At home it’s you versus you, using the weights you SHOULD be using. You don’t get talked out of lifting heavy by “management”, nor do you have to put yourself under what truly are dangerous weights just to fit in with the crowd.
As for the pre and post workout shakes and meals? Damn, $30 could last you a month or so in protein shakes (DESIGNER PROTEIN RULES!), as opposed to 2 days. You don’t need a trainer or slick salesman to push you into buying substandard or worthless supplements either, you have access to Bodybuilding.com, where you can get anything you want, and tons of advice and feedback from weight lifters around the globe.

bluehazard · 07-05-2005, 10:27 PM

So What The Hell Do You Do?

Well, you’re going to need some space and equipment. Before that, you’ll need some garbage bags. I recommend Hefty Cinch Sacks. Bring whoever lives with you down in the basement. You’re going to need to be assertive here. Decide where the gym needs to be. See all that useless junk that has been collecting over the years? Start picking things up one by one, the family gets FIVE SECONDS to decide if they want it or not. If they don’t want it or five seconds elapses, into the garbage bag it goes. If they do want it, put it directly into their hands it is now their responsibility. If they put it back down instead of rushing up to their bedroom with their treasure, right in the garbage bag it goes. Take no crap. What are they going to do with their collection of smashed matchbox cars? Nothing, trash it.
Ok, so now you have a decent amount of empty space. Time to fill it back up with stuff that you DO want. I would recommend going to BJ’s or Sams Club and purchasing enough of that interlocking rubber matting to cover your training area. This will save a bit of wear on your joints when doing squats, deadlifts or any standing exercises. It will also help protect the floor from dropped weights and other mishaps.
Go purchase a power rack before you get any other equipment. You can do just about any exercise you can think of in a power rack. Get whatever weight set is on sale. When I say weight set, I mean weight set. Weights are made out of metal, not plastic filled with sand. You should be able to pickup a 300 lbs set for around $100. Even better, look in the paper, somebody is probably selling theirs (totally unused) for $20 because they’re going to go hang out next to the old lady on the exercycle at the “Health Spa.” You may be able to pickup an adjustable bench and preacher curl setup off the same schlub. Maybe these lazy folks aren’t so bad afterall.
This should get you started. Next steps would be adjustable dumbbells and more plates. After that, it’s really up to you and what your goals are. You may grab a treadmill, some grippers, thick bars and barbells, who knows. You may even have some cash to buy some machines. Home gyms can get quite expensive, but you should be able to get your basic setup for less than Mr. Pretty spent on his new set of ultra-hip sunglasses.

Conclusion

It’s your body and your life. You could spend hundreds of dollars a year (or thousands if you want to be Cool Guy with the lastest eyewear) to hang out with a bunch of people you don’t like that cause you anger and frustration on a daily basis, or you can get a training partner or two and lift in your basement. It’s really your choice. Now, if you’re lucky and live somewhere that actually has a great gym with hard working people at a reasonable price, than maybe you’d want to consider it. Me, I’m happier in my home gym, and unless I have to move somewhere I can’t use it, in the basement I will stay.

07-05-2005, 10:25 PM	#2
bluehazard www.whyquit.com Join Date: May 2005 Posts: 255 Recipes: 0 Rep Power: 8	Part I Basement Training by bluehazard Introduction I would never ever train at a commercial gym on purpose if there was another option available. I would rather run down a small tree with my bashed up Sunfire and use it for bench presses in my driveway than go to a commercial gym. Nearly any other style of training would be preferable to wading through the army of 110 lbs self-styled Tuffguyz in their black knit caps and wife beaters training their “tricepts” and “bicepts” to the pounding beat of today’s trendiest music. In fact, I could go the rest of my life without stepping foot in another “health spa” or “family fitness center.” Commercial Gyms What about the variety of training equipment? Granted I’m a free weights kind of guy myself, but I will admit that having a few machines around would be nice. In fact, if I had them I would probably use them frequently. It would be great to have a military press machine, bench press machine, pretty much the whole line up of basic Hammer Strength Equipment. What I do NOT need is a line of twenty-five machines to train biceps. That isn’t variety, that’s just flat out ridiculous. As for the amount of equipment found in most commercial gyms, yes there truthfully is a lot of it. They have preloaded barbells and dumbbells which could potentially save you a lot of time. Unfortunately, it doesn’t really work out that way because people just kind of take the things and leave them all over the place. Social atmosphere? Old guys walking around the locker room naked, the tough guy crew and a bunch of lazy schlubs leaving their nasty smelly body odor all over every piece of equipment I want to use is not “social atmosphere.” Ok ok ok ok: I know, that doesn’t classify the rest of the people in the gym. I agree, there are tons of people in there. Trust me. I know. I work with the general public, and I absolutely DO NOT want to hang out with them in my spare time. What it comes down to is that less than 5% of the people there are actually training hard, and guess what, they don’t want to hang out with you because they’re working out. Oh, and in case you weren’t sure, NOBODY there wants to see you making out with your girlfriend, and I WILL “accidentally” drop a 45 lbs plate on your toes if you come near me in your cool-guy sandals. Sandals are definitely not to be worn in the gym; you don’t need your $500 sunglasses or $1600 training outfit either. Some gyms understand this and have a “Line of Demarcation”, aka a room in the back that has nothing but power racks where you’re allowed to use chalk. Back In the Day, and WTF Happened Back in the day does not exist anymore at most of these gyms. Anyone who has seen Pumping Iron is in for a big surprise if they step into one of today’s urban sprawl training centers. The majority of people in today’s gyms have absolutely no desire to go and workout. Why? Well, there are a couple of reasons. Ever see the people that kind of sit around between their pathetically easy sets that don’t challenge them at all reading books? It’s because their significant other makes them go to the gym. Gyms love members like this, it increases their revenue, they don’t make a mess, and they are not at risk for injury. The fact that they’ve been sitting in military press station that you need to use for the past 25 minutes is your problem. A 10cc shot of adrenalin to their heart wouldn’t get these losers moving, they’re too engrossed in their latest 99 cent romance novel from Wal-Mart. Mass marketing is another reason. Many gyms survive solely on the amount of “New Years” customers that sign up for mailed-out promotions, stay for a few weeks, than are gone forever. These people would NEVER have walked into one of the dungeons of the old days. The concrete walls, flickering lights (all two of them), chalk dust and the twisted faces of people in total agony forcing out that last rep would signal nature’s “flight response” and that would be the end of that. For this reason alone, many gyms don’t want you to train. I bet at least 1/5 of you reading this have been asked to take off some plates or flat out leave because you were warming up with 225 lbs in the squat, and that is just “too heavy” to use. They make enough money off of the New Years and Post-Thanksgiving crowd, and have no interest in risking you getting hurt. That’s a liability. Besides, they probably even sell the ultra-cool $500 sunglasses and designer workout apparel that will “Get you all the girlz yo, fo sho.” In conclusion, they want you to spend all day: 1) Sipping from their $8 one liter bottles of water. The water fountain was removed years ago for “sanitary reasons.” In fact, you can’t bring in your own water bottle or thermos because it might tip and “stain the carpet.” Yes, the carpet, where did all of the rubber mats or concrete floor go? 2) Downing insanely marked up protein shakes that taste like camel dung. For real: Camel dung. It’s the newest Beverly Hills fad dontchaknow? 3) Making your “model faces” in the mirror while you show off your 8” “guns” and pumping out your 95 lbs bench press reps. Note: 95 lbs is only for the bigger guys, the majority prefer to rep-out with 55 lbs to get a nice “burn.” Where Do YOU Think You’ll Make the Best Gains? Some people are convinced that they would make the best gains around other people. Competition motivates the majority of us. Even being around other people makes us try harder. Well, we’ve just gone over the people at the commercial gym. Will being in the presence of those chumps make you train harder? Only out of fear. I am totally terrified of turning into the fat guy on the treadmill walking slower than a sloth reading about new and innovative ways to bath his cat. In fact, if you ever even think of training hard, you’re done. Think you’re going to bench 315 there? Nope. First of all, you will be “kicked-out” of that great social circle for the simple reason that it has become accepted that NOBODY can bench 315 without using steroids. Hell, even the big guys (aka, FAT guys) only bench 185. Plus, that puts the gym at a liability, you’re gone. Oh, and don’t even think of military pressing anything near 135. That is also impossible. Worse yet, you yourself may come to believe things like this and never be able to train. Enter the home gym. I like training in the basement. I live in Buffalo, NY and the winters can get quite chilly here. If I was in my garage, I’d probably freeze to death. (I’m sure a few of you train in such frigid if not worse conditions, for you I have great respect, you are a polar bear with fifteen pound balls of steel.) Plus, the basement has concrete walls and floors, and it can somewhat be a climate controlled environment. You can play whatever you want in your basement. You can pound Pantera to your hearts content and never have to “turn it down” or off because you’ve offended some old hag that is sitting on an exercycle. Yes, sitting. You can train in absolute silence as well. Even better, NOBODY talks to you. Not once will you be in the middle of a heavy set when some “Master of the Iron” (aka, 6’3”, 118 lbs) walks up to inform you that your form is totally incorrect and that you should train like him. As for people occupying the equipment you want to use? No way, this is your house. Who the hell are these people? Beat them to a bloody pulp and leave them duct taped in the attic. At home you compare yourself to yourself. Too many people plant themselves into groups at the gym. They see themselves as about that strong, or big, or lean or whatever, and cannot get out of that group. Humans are social herd animals and can dupe themselves into being far less than what they could have been. At home it’s you versus you, using the weights you SHOULD be using. You don’t get talked out of lifting heavy by “management”, nor do you have to put yourself under what truly are dangerous weights just to fit in with the crowd. As for the pre and post workout shakes and meals? Damn, $30 could last you a month or so in protein shakes (DESIGNER PROTEIN RULES!), as opposed to 2 days. You don’t need a trainer or slick salesman to push you into buying substandard or worthless supplements either, you have access to Bodybuilding.com, where you can get anything you want, and tons of advice and feedback from weight lifters around the globe.

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07-05-2005, 10:27 PM	#3
bluehazard www.whyquit.com Join Date: May 2005 Posts: 255 Recipes: 0 Rep Power: 8	So What The Hell Do You Do? Well, you’re going to need some space and equipment. Before that, you’ll need some garbage bags. I recommend Hefty Cinch Sacks. Bring whoever lives with you down in the basement. You’re going to need to be assertive here. Decide where the gym needs to be. See all that useless junk that has been collecting over the years? Start picking things up one by one, the family gets FIVE SECONDS to decide if they want it or not. If they don’t want it or five seconds elapses, into the garbage bag it goes. If they do want it, put it directly into their hands it is now their responsibility. If they put it back down instead of rushing up to their bedroom with their treasure, right in the garbage bag it goes. Take no crap. What are they going to do with their collection of smashed matchbox cars? Nothing, trash it. Ok, so now you have a decent amount of empty space. Time to fill it back up with stuff that you DO want. I would recommend going to BJ’s or Sams Club and purchasing enough of that interlocking rubber matting to cover your training area. This will save a bit of wear on your joints when doing squats, deadlifts or any standing exercises. It will also help protect the floor from dropped weights and other mishaps. Go purchase a power rack before you get any other equipment. You can do just about any exercise you can think of in a power rack. Get whatever weight set is on sale. When I say weight set, I mean weight set. Weights are made out of metal, not plastic filled with sand. You should be able to pickup a 300 lbs set for around $100. Even better, look in the paper, somebody is probably selling theirs (totally unused) for $20 because they’re going to go hang out next to the old lady on the exercycle at the “Health Spa.” You may be able to pickup an adjustable bench and preacher curl setup off the same schlub. Maybe these lazy folks aren’t so bad afterall. This should get you started. Next steps would be adjustable dumbbells and more plates. After that, it’s really up to you and what your goals are. You may grab a treadmill, some grippers, thick bars and barbells, who knows. You may even have some cash to buy some machines. Home gyms can get quite expensive, but you should be able to get your basic setup for less than Mr. Pretty spent on his new set of ultra-hip sunglasses. Conclusion It’s your body and your life. You could spend hundreds of dollars a year (or thousands if you want to be Cool Guy with the lastest eyewear) to hang out with a bunch of people you don’t like that cause you anger and frustration on a daily basis, or you can get a training partner or two and lift in your basement. It’s really your choice. Now, if you’re lucky and live somewhere that actually has a great gym with hard working people at a reasonable price, than maybe you’d want to consider it. Me, I’m happier in my home gym, and unless I have to move somewhere I can’t use it, in the basement I will stay.