Bipolar Disorder

**Pj-Macx** · 07-17-2005, 07:12 AM

My Battle with Bipolar Disorder

For many years, I spent most of my time thinking that I was always tired and worked to much. When someone would tell me that I looked sick and that I needed to go to the doctor’s office. I always come back with, no I am just tired and I need to start taking a good vitamin, I will be fine. Not knowing really what was wrong with me. After a couple months of getting extra sleep, and taking the vitamins, I was not feeling any better, but I still put off going to the doctor’s office, I was sure I didn’t need to be seen by a doctor. Even though there were days that I did not want to even get out of bed in the morning, I just did not have the energy to move. I did not want to see a doctor just yet, I kept telling myself and everyone else that it would pass. There was also days that I would get up with an extreme amount of energy and do things continuously throughout the day without any rest time during the day. There was also days that I would go to the store and just buy things, not because I needed them, but because I wanted them, they were pretty, or I gave the excuse I might need them at a later time. I found out a few years later that everything that I had been feeling over the last few years, they were all symptoms of Bipolar Disorder.

Bipolar Disorder affects more than 2 million American adults, or about 1% of the population age 18 and older. It begins in adolescence or early adulthood and may persist throughout life.

Its causes are elusive, and there is no cure. Bipolar Disorder episodes may last for weeks or even months. This causes a great disturbance for family and friends of those that are affected with this disorder. Left untreated, Bipolar Disorder usually worsens, but can be managed with proper medication and other therapy.

Looking back over my life, I have come to the conclusion that my disorder began around my late teens. During that time in my life I was dealing with a very traumatic experience when my long time boyfriend sexually assaulted me. I kept my emotions inside, and ended up blaming myself for the incident. Which later on I found out that I had no reason to blame myself, it was not my fault that someone took advantage of my person. I had no choice in whether it happened or not. I just had the bad luck to be the person he decided to abuse.

For most people affected with Bipolar Disorder, life is an emotional roller coaster of intense highs and crippling lows. Until recently, Bipolar Disorder was known as Manic Depression. The word bipolar is used to indicate 2 poles of opposite extremes. These two extremes characterize this disorder. Bipolar Disorder can affect a person’s ability to experience a normal range of moods, and sometimes makes it very hard to perform normally in every day life. Keeping a job sometimes is a very hard thing to do when someone with Bipolar Disorder is in a depression episode.

If you picture a globe, the North Pole would be Mania, and the South Pole would be Depression. Every time you experience symptoms at one pole or the other for at least 1 week, it’s called an episode. Experiencing 4 or more episodes of mania or depression in a year’s time is called Rapid Cycling Bipolar Disorder.

As defined by the American Psychiatric Association, Bipolar Disorder includes 4 main mood episodes, Mania, Hypomania, Depression, and Mixed Moods.
Hypomania is described as being similar to a Manic episode, except there are no delusions or hallucinations.

Mixed Moods are when symptoms of a Manic episode and a depression episode are present at the same time for at least one week.

A therapist, that I was ordered to see found my disorder when I foolishly attempted suicide, trying to end my pain, after my Grandfather passed away. My Grandfather was my support system, he was the one person that I knew I could count on, I loved him very much, and I still miss him every day.

The only reason that I am still here today is because I just have happened to have a very nosey neighbor. This nosey neighbor just happened to be standing in his yard right outside the window that I fell against and broke. He is the one who called 911 for me.

Now after many years of treatment, and medication, and knowing that I can and will be, ok, that I don’t have to ride that emotional roller coaster forever. I am very grateful to that nosey neighbor.

Many years later I now know that the only pain that I would have ended by taking my own life was my own. The pain of my family and friends would have continued.
When I begin feeling a little depressed now, I try to remind myself that the only pain I will end is my own. I have friends, and family that I can turn to, that will help me through anything. I have other options now. So I keep that in mind as best I can so I can keep my focus and continue to live my life each and every day.

http://www.bipolar.com/whatis/bipolar-disorder.htm

Bipolar disorder

By Mayo Clinic staff
Overview

Ghosting · 07-19-2005, 07:25 AM

I think thats awesome you wrote about it. Most people think it is a weakness to admit it. I also think it takes a great amount of courage. Very cool Pj, Im impressed (which isnt easy).

**Pj-Macx** · 07-19-2005, 08:08 AM

Thanks Ghosting... it took me along time to be able to tell people about all of this.. but I have found that it helps to talk to people that care about me.. and also have found that when they find out.. they dont run away.. they stick around and try to help me deal every day...

Ghosting · 07-19-2005, 08:21 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pj-Macx

Thanks Ghosting... it took me along time to be able to tell people about all of this.. but I have found that it helps to talk to people that care about me.. and also have found that when they find out.. they dont run away.. they stick around and try to help me deal every day...

I saw a special on it and people who had to deal with the ups & downs. Gave me a whole new look at it. A lot of uninformed people just view it as another mental disorder and saying you have it is a weakness. Im glad I saw that program a while back on it. One guy said when he wasnt depressed he felt super high, almost invicible. Do you ever feel like Super Pj? Or was that just him?

**Pj-Macx** · 07-19-2005, 09:10 AM

I have my days were.. I can go and go and go... my insomnia is also a symptom of it... so yea there are days when I think I can just keep going without any rest.. but when you do come down.. you usually come down pretty hard.. and that is when I am really thankful for my support system...

To be honest.. since the end of Feb.. I have been dealing with the depression end of this disorder.. and have been out of work since then.. I just dont have the energy to do it right now...

There are times I do look at myself as being weak... for having this.. but I also know all of the information about this.. and know there is nothing I could have done to stop this.. I just have to learn how to live with it day by day...

Ghosting · 07-19-2005, 09:38 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pj-Macx

I have my days were.. I can go and go and go... my insomnia is also a symptom of it... so yea there are days when I think I can just keep going without any rest.. but when you do come down.. you usually come down pretty hard.. and that is when I am really thankful for my support system...

To be honest.. since the end of Feb.. I have been dealing with the depression end of this disorder.. and have been out of work since then.. I just dont have the energy to do it right now...

There are times I do look at myself as being weak... for having this.. but I also know all of the information about this.. and know there is nothing I could have done to stop this.. I just have to learn how to live with it day by day...

Well good luck, it sounds like you got a real positive outlook about this. Im not the religious type, so I cant say i'll keep you in my prayers, but i'll keep wishing the best for you.

Ghosting · 07-19-2005, 09:43 AM

BTW, I think your story is kick ass.

**Pj-Macx** · 07-19-2005, 10:26 AM

Thanks Ghosting...

Dan · 07-19-2005, 01:40 PM

Cool info PJ. I agree that it takes a lot to admit such things but people tend to forget that it can be/is part of healing and dealing with such things. I have been there before myself.

**Roxie** · 07-19-2005, 08:28 PM

Very nice PJ...I'm in the same boat...and glad there are medications out there to help me cope with this..I know exactly what you mean about the ups and downs...That's so great you have a solid support system..I wish the best for you and hope one day..there will be a cure

**DarkFalcon** · 07-20-2005, 01:14 AM

Thanks for sharing that Pj. One of my best friends has the condition and when it first really showed up with a manic episode I thought I had lost him forever to insanity. With proper treatment he's been fine for years now.

Ghosting · 07-20-2005, 01:39 AM

I also have a good friend with it, as long as she takes her meds I never get to see it.

I know I already said this, but I think it takes huge balls (I hope youy dont have any literally :scared1: ) to step forward and open yourself up about. I think I speak for many of us on the forum, we think you are cool (even if you're an evil mod

), if you need to discuss something, we would gladly put our collective heads together to find a solution. OMG!!

Went from funny to sappy. Ugh!! I feel dirty.!! Must.....take.....shower

**Pj-Macx** · 07-20-2005, 06:45 AM

Oh that is ok... sappy is alright..

mrsc · 07-20-2005, 07:38 PM

THANK YOU !
((HUGS))

**Pj-Macx** · 07-20-2005, 09:56 PM

Not sure it that is for me but I will say your welcome...

mrsc · 07-21-2005, 06:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pj-Macx

Not sure it that is for me but I will say your welcome...

Yes - I didn't have any other words

It was an excellent EXCELLENT article by you

07-17-2005, 07:12 AM	#1
Pj-Macx Moderator Join Date: May 2005 Location: 632 HP SS Posts: 4,089 Recipes: 0 Rep Power: 75	Bipolar Disorder My Battle with Bipolar Disorder For many years, I spent most of my time thinking that I was always tired and worked to much. When someone would tell me that I looked sick and that I needed to go to the doctor’s office. I always come back with, no I am just tired and I need to start taking a good vitamin, I will be fine. Not knowing really what was wrong with me. After a couple months of getting extra sleep, and taking the vitamins, I was not feeling any better, but I still put off going to the doctor’s office, I was sure I didn’t need to be seen by a doctor. Even though there were days that I did not want to even get out of bed in the morning, I just did not have the energy to move. I did not want to see a doctor just yet, I kept telling myself and everyone else that it would pass. There was also days that I would get up with an extreme amount of energy and do things continuously throughout the day without any rest time during the day. There was also days that I would go to the store and just buy things, not because I needed them, but because I wanted them, they were pretty, or I gave the excuse I might need them at a later time. I found out a few years later that everything that I had been feeling over the last few years, they were all symptoms of Bipolar Disorder. Bipolar Disorder affects more than 2 million American adults, or about 1% of the population age 18 and older. It begins in adolescence or early adulthood and may persist throughout life. Its causes are elusive, and there is no cure. Bipolar Disorder episodes may last for weeks or even months. This causes a great disturbance for family and friends of those that are affected with this disorder. Left untreated, Bipolar Disorder usually worsens, but can be managed with proper medication and other therapy. Looking back over my life, I have come to the conclusion that my disorder began around my late teens. During that time in my life I was dealing with a very traumatic experience when my long time boyfriend sexually assaulted me. I kept my emotions inside, and ended up blaming myself for the incident. Which later on I found out that I had no reason to blame myself, it was not my fault that someone took advantage of my person. I had no choice in whether it happened or not. I just had the bad luck to be the person he decided to abuse. For most people affected with Bipolar Disorder, life is an emotional roller coaster of intense highs and crippling lows. Until recently, Bipolar Disorder was known as Manic Depression. The word bipolar is used to indicate 2 poles of opposite extremes. These two extremes characterize this disorder. Bipolar Disorder can affect a person’s ability to experience a normal range of moods, and sometimes makes it very hard to perform normally in every day life. Keeping a job sometimes is a very hard thing to do when someone with Bipolar Disorder is in a depression episode. If you picture a globe, the North Pole would be Mania, and the South Pole would be Depression. Every time you experience symptoms at one pole or the other for at least 1 week, it’s called an episode. Experiencing 4 or more episodes of mania or depression in a year’s time is called Rapid Cycling Bipolar Disorder. As defined by the American Psychiatric Association, Bipolar Disorder includes 4 main mood episodes, Mania, Hypomania, Depression, and Mixed Moods. Hypomania is described as being similar to a Manic episode, except there are no delusions or hallucinations. Mixed Moods are when symptoms of a Manic episode and a depression episode are present at the same time for at least one week. A therapist, that I was ordered to see found my disorder when I foolishly attempted suicide, trying to end my pain, after my Grandfather passed away. My Grandfather was my support system, he was the one person that I knew I could count on, I loved him very much, and I still miss him every day. The only reason that I am still here today is because I just have happened to have a very nosey neighbor. This nosey neighbor just happened to be standing in his yard right outside the window that I fell against and broke. He is the one who called 911 for me. Now after many years of treatment, and medication, and knowing that I can and will be, ok, that I don’t have to ride that emotional roller coaster forever. I am very grateful to that nosey neighbor. Many years later I now know that the only pain that I would have ended by taking my own life was my own. The pain of my family and friends would have continued. When I begin feeling a little depressed now, I try to remind myself that the only pain I will end is my own. I have friends, and family that I can turn to, that will help me through anything. I have other options now. So I keep that in mind as best I can so I can keep my focus and continue to live my life each and every day. http://www.bipolar.com/whatis/bipolar-disorder.htm Bipolar disorder By Mayo Clinic staff Overview __________________ Co-Owner @ BodyBuildingXtreme 2002 Navy Blue Metallic Camaro SS "The Blue Ghost" # 10354 -=LME LSX 454ci built for N20=- Last edited by Pj-Macx : 07-17-2005 at 10:56 AM.

07-19-2005, 07:25 AM	#2
Ghosting IronMass Donator Join Date: Jun 2005 Posts: 1,810 Recipes: 0 Rep Power: 22	I think thats awesome you wrote about it. Most people think it is a weakness to admit it. I also think it takes a great amount of courage. Very cool Pj, Im impressed (which isnt easy). __________________ Robcardu is the Jesus of the 90s.

07-19-2005, 08:08 AM	#3
Pj-Macx Moderator Join Date: May 2005 Location: 632 HP SS Posts: 4,089 Recipes: 0 Rep Power: 75	Thanks Ghosting... it took me along time to be able to tell people about all of this.. but I have found that it helps to talk to people that care about me.. and also have found that when they find out.. they dont run away.. they stick around and try to help me deal every day... __________________ Co-Owner @ BodyBuildingXtreme 2002 Navy Blue Metallic Camaro SS "The Blue Ghost" # 10354 -=LME LSX 454ci built for N20=-

07-19-2005, 09:10 AM	#5
Pj-Macx Moderator Join Date: May 2005 Location: 632 HP SS Posts: 4,089 Recipes: 0 Rep Power: 75	I have my days were.. I can go and go and go... my insomnia is also a symptom of it... so yea there are days when I think I can just keep going without any rest.. but when you do come down.. you usually come down pretty hard.. and that is when I am really thankful for my support system... To be honest.. since the end of Feb.. I have been dealing with the depression end of this disorder.. and have been out of work since then.. I just dont have the energy to do it right now... There are times I do look at myself as being weak... for having this.. but I also know all of the information about this.. and know there is nothing I could have done to stop this.. I just have to learn how to live with it day by day... __________________ Co-Owner @ BodyBuildingXtreme 2002 Navy Blue Metallic Camaro SS "The Blue Ghost" # 10354 -=LME LSX 454ci built for N20=-

07-19-2005, 09:43 AM	#7
Ghosting IronMass Donator Join Date: Jun 2005 Posts: 1,810 Recipes: 0 Rep Power: 22	BTW, I think your story is kick ass. __________________ Robcardu is the Jesus of the 90s.

07-19-2005, 10:26 AM	#8
Pj-Macx Moderator Join Date: May 2005 Location: 632 HP SS Posts: 4,089 Recipes: 0 Rep Power: 75	Thanks Ghosting... __________________ Co-Owner @ BodyBuildingXtreme 2002 Navy Blue Metallic Camaro SS "The Blue Ghost" # 10354 -=LME LSX 454ci built for N20=-

07-19-2005, 01:40 PM	#9
Dan Unpaid Trash Collector Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Colorado Posts: 1,784 Recipes: 0 Rep Power: 26	Cool info PJ. I agree that it takes a lot to admit such things but people tend to forget that it can be/is part of healing and dealing with such things. I have been there before myself. __________________ Got an issue send a PM ... to anyone but me

07-19-2005, 08:28 PM	#10
Roxie Keto Queen Join Date: May 2005 Location: At A Raiders Game Posts: 227 Recipes: 0 Rep Power: 45	Very nice PJ...I'm in the same boat...and glad there are medications out there to help me cope with this..I know exactly what you mean about the ups and downs...That's so great you have a solid support system..I wish the best for you and hope one day..there will be a cure __________________ Trust is like a broken vase, it can be glued back together, but it will never be the same again..

07-20-2005, 01:14 AM	#11
DarkFalcon I've got a RAGING clue! Join Date: May 2005 Location: dnyc99's cleaning staff Posts: 12,526 Recipes: 0 Rep Power: 309	Thanks for sharing that Pj. One of my best friends has the condition and when it first really showed up with a manic episode I thought I had lost him forever to insanity. With proper treatment he's been fine for years now.

07-20-2005, 01:39 AM	#12
Ghosting IronMass Donator Join Date: Jun 2005 Posts: 1,810 Recipes: 0 Rep Power: 22	I also have a good friend with it, as long as she takes her meds I never get to see it. I know I already said this, but I think it takes huge balls (I hope youy dont have any literally :scared1: ) to step forward and open yourself up about. I think I speak for many of us on the forum, we think you are cool (even if you're an evil mod ), if you need to discuss something, we would gladly put our collective heads together to find a solution. OMG!! Went from funny to sappy. Ugh!! I feel dirty.!! Must.....take.....shower __________________ Robcardu is the Jesus of the 90s.

07-20-2005, 06:45 AM	#13
Pj-Macx Moderator Join Date: May 2005 Location: 632 HP SS Posts: 4,089 Recipes: 0 Rep Power: 75	Oh that is ok... sappy is alright.. __________________ Co-Owner @ BodyBuildingXtreme 2002 Navy Blue Metallic Camaro SS "The Blue Ghost" # 10354 -=LME LSX 454ci built for N20=-

07-20-2005, 07:38 PM	#14
mrsc Pink Members Join Date: May 2005 Posts: 171 Recipes: 0 Rep Power: 5	THANK YOU ! ((HUGS)) __________________

07-20-2005, 09:56 PM	#15
Pj-Macx Moderator Join Date: May 2005 Location: 632 HP SS Posts: 4,089 Recipes: 0 Rep Power: 75	Not sure it that is for me but I will say your welcome... __________________ Co-Owner @ BodyBuildingXtreme 2002 Navy Blue Metallic Camaro SS "The Blue Ghost" # 10354 -=LME LSX 454ci built for N20=-

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Email this Page
Display Modes
Linear Mode Switch to Hybrid Mode Switch to Threaded Mode