Why women should never take their husband shopping

**warriors** · 06-20-2006, 04:55 AM

Mrs. Fenton,
Our store is considering banning your family from ever shopping with us
unless your husband stops his antics. Below is a list of offenses over the past
few months all verified by our surveillance cameras.

MEMO
Re: Mr. Bill Fenton - Complaints - 15 Things Mr. Bill Fenton has done while his
spouse/partner is shopping:

1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts
when they weren't looking.

2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute
intervals.

3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.

4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official tone, 'Code 3'
in housewares..... and watched what happened.

5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and asked to put a bag of M&M's on lay
away.

6. September 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

7. September 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told other shoppers
he'd invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.

8. September 23: When a clerk asks if they can help him, he begins to cry and
asks Why can't you people just leave me alone?'

9. October 4: Looked right into the security camera; used it as a mirror, and
picked his nose.

10. November 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, asked the clerk
if he knows where the antidepressants are.

11. December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission
Impossible" theme.

12. December 6: In the auto department, practiced his "Madonna look" using
different size funnels.

13. December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browse through, yelled
PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"

14. December 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumes the
fetal position and screams "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!"

(And; last, but not least!)

15. December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door and waited a while;
then, yelled, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!"

Trick D · 06-20-2006, 04:59 AM

Lol... sounds like something I would have done a few years back.

**Fitnfirm** · 06-20-2006, 05:37 AM

ROFLMAO, I like the M&M on layaway

dukebrown · 06-20-2006, 01:15 PM

Sounds like a trip to wally world drunk again

MCconditioner · 06-20-2006, 01:31 PM

haha, i wonder if this is true

**antihero** · 06-20-2006, 01:47 PM

i am definetly the kind of person who would do the last one....in fact, im thinking about it right now.

Pj-Macx · 06-20-2006, 01:52 PM

Hell I might do some of those.. on my next shopping trip...

**DJSTARER** · 06-20-2006, 01:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by warriors

Mrs. Fenton,
Our store is considering banning your family from ever shopping with us
unless your husband stops his antics. Below is a list of offenses over the past
few months all verified by our surveillance cameras.

MEMO
Re: Mr. Bill Fenton - Complaints - 15 Things Mr. Bill Fenton has done while his
spouse/partner is shopping:

1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts
when they weren't looking.

2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute
intervals.

3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.

4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official tone, 'Code 3'
in housewares..... and watched what happened.

5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and asked to put a bag of M&M's on lay
away.

6. September 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

7. September 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told other shoppers
he'd invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.

8. September 23: When a clerk asks if they can help him, he begins to cry and
asks Why can't you people just leave me alone?'

9. October 4: Looked right into the security camera; used it as a mirror, and
picked his nose.

10. November 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, asked the clerk
if he knows where the antidepressants are.

11. December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission
Impossible" theme.

12. December 6: In the auto department, practiced his "Madonna look" using
different size funnels.

13. December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browse through, yelled
PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"

14. December 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumes the
fetal position and screams "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!"

(And; last, but not least!)

15. December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door and waited a while;
then, yelled, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!"

I've seen this list before. When I saw it the first time, it was titled "15 Things you MUST do at WallMart if you are bored"

I've done a few.

**Pioneer** · 06-20-2006, 03:01 PM

thats really funny.

**bigDman** · 06-20-2006, 04:49 PM

ive seen this list, but it had 50 things... I dont rember were i saw it, but other things on the list included things such as settin up a full out war between the GI joes and barbies and yelling at people that got in the way telling them to hit the deck
Putting all the barbie and ken dolls in to wierd sex postions
And gluing a quater to the floor and watching how many people try to pick it up

EliteBSU · 06-22-2006, 11:32 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bigDman

And gluing a quater to the floor and watching how many people try to pick it up

NICE
trying that one

the voices one sounds like something i would do.

one time we played marco polo at Target... full contact marco polo

06-20-2006, 04:55 AM	#1
warriors The world is yours Join Date: Apr 2005 Posts: 1,127 Recipes: 0 Rep Power: 29	Why women should never take their husband shopping Mrs. Fenton, Our store is considering banning your family from ever shopping with us unless your husband stops his antics. Below is a list of offenses over the past few months all verified by our surveillance cameras. MEMO Re: Mr. Bill Fenton - Complaints - 15 Things Mr. Bill Fenton has done while his spouse/partner is shopping: 1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they weren't looking. 2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals. 3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms. 4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official tone, 'Code 3' in housewares..... and watched what happened. 5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and asked to put a bag of M&M's on lay away. 6. September 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area. 7. September 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told other shoppers he'd invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department. 8. September 23: When a clerk asks if they can help him, he begins to cry and asks Why can't you people just leave me alone?' 9. October 4: Looked right into the security camera; used it as a mirror, and picked his nose. 10. November 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, asked the clerk if he knows where the antidepressants are. 11. December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme. 12. December 6: In the auto department, practiced his "Madonna look" using different size funnels. 13. December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browse through, yelled PICK ME!" "PICK ME!" 14. December 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumes the fetal position and screams "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!" (And; last, but not least!) 15. December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door and waited a while; then, yelled, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!" __________________ Not Around...

06-20-2006, 01:15 PM	#4
dukebrown IMPC Contestant Join Date: Feb 2006 Posts: 115 Recipes: 0 Rep Power: 4	Sounds like a trip to wally world drunk again __________________ If you aint sweatin you aint workin If you aint hurting you aint growin shsumofo@cyber-rights.net

06-20-2006, 01:31 PM	#5
MCconditioner Pro Stature Join Date: Oct 2005 Posts: 147 Recipes: 0 Rep Power: 5	haha, i wonder if this is true __________________ Yes I 8 all the pies

06-20-2006, 01:47 PM	#6
antihero Gold Member Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: Las Vegas Posts: 1,688 Recipes: 0 Rep Power: 33	i am definetly the kind of person who would do the last one....in fact, im thinking about it right now. __________________ ****************** Disclaimer: Information given by me is my personal opinion. It cannot be considered medical advice and does not represent the official opinion of a company that is not a sponsor here. ******************

06-20-2006, 01:52 PM	#7
Pj-Macx Pro Stature Join Date: May 2005 Location: 632 HP SS Posts: 3,337 Recipes: 0 Rep Power: 68	Hell I might do some of those.. on my next shopping trip... __________________ Co-Owner @ BodyBuildingXtreme 2002 Navy Blue Metallic Camaro SS "The Blue Ghost" # 10354 -=LME LSX 454ci built for N20=-

06-20-2006, 05:37 AM	#3
Fitnfirm Spanky Doodle ! Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Muscle Land Posts: 1,821 Recipes: 0 Rep Power: 48	ROFLMAO, I like the M&M on layaway

06-20-2006, 03:01 PM	#9
Pioneer Moderator Join Date: Jun 2005 Posts: 1,726 Recipes: 0 Rep Power: 75	thats really funny. __________________ "A Marine in battle fears disgracing himself by running. He fears not losing his life, but losing his honor. He may not be able to preserve his life, but he can always preserve his honor. That much is within his power... To fear disgrace but not death, to fear not duty but dereliction from duty -- this is courage." -FMFM 1-0 "Leading Marines" pg. 43 Drive on

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