Redneck Son

bluehazard · 06-24-2005, 05:43 PM

Dearest Redneck Son,

I'm writing this slow because I know you can't read
fast. We don't live where we did when you left home.

Your dad read in the newspaper that most accidents
happen within 20 miles of your home, so we moved. I
won't be able to send you the address because the last
West Virginia family that lived here took the house
numbers when they moved so they wouldn't have to
change their address. This place is really nice. it
even has a washing machine. I'm not sure about it. I
put a load of clothes in and pulled the chain. We
haven't seen them since. The weather isn't bad here.
It only rained twice last week; the first time for
three days and the second time for four days.

About that coat you wanted me to send; your Uncle
Billy Bob said it would be too heavy to send in the
mail with the buttons on, so we cut them off and put
them in the pockets. Bubba locked his keys in the car
yesterday. We were really worried because it took him
two hours to get me and your father out.

Your sister had a baby this morning, but I haven't
found out what it is yet so I don't know if you are an
aunt or an uncle. The baby looks just like your
brother.

Uncle Bobby Ray fell into a whiskey vat last week.
Some men tried to pull him out but he fought them off
and drowned. We had him cremated. He burned for three
days.

Three of your friends went off the bridge in a pickup
truck. Butch was driving. He rolled down the window
and swam to safety. Your other two friends were in the
back. They drowned because they couldn't get the
tailgate down.

There isn't much more news at this time. Nothing much
out of the normal has happened.

Your favorite aunt,

Mom

~~Hacking is a Felony~~ · 06-24-2005, 06:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bluehazard

The baby looks just like your brother.

**DarkFalcon** · 06-24-2005, 06:51 PM

lol.I thought all you Yankies were like this. :p

Master Of Puppets · 06-24-2005, 07:15 PM

ROFL!!! I love this. I'll email it to all my friends!

MOP

Nergal · 06-25-2005, 01:42 AM

haha.

**NNTB** · 06-25-2005, 01:52 AM

LMAO ... good post

Massman · 06-25-2005, 08:55 PM

Good read.

**Sholiz** · 06-25-2005, 09:08 PM

... whoever said this was about my family? I don't even have a brother

Pj-Macx · 06-25-2005, 10:05 PM

Hey... how did you get ahold of my brothers mail....

gSlasher327 · 06-28-2005, 10:36 PM

LMAO!!

06-24-2005, 05:43 PM	#1
bluehazard www.whyquit.com Join Date: May 2005 Posts: 255 Recipes: 0 Rep Power: 8	Redneck Son Dearest Redneck Son, I'm writing this slow because I know you can't read fast. We don't live where we did when you left home. Your dad read in the newspaper that most accidents happen within 20 miles of your home, so we moved. I won't be able to send you the address because the last West Virginia family that lived here took the house numbers when they moved so they wouldn't have to change their address. This place is really nice. it even has a washing machine. I'm not sure about it. I put a load of clothes in and pulled the chain. We haven't seen them since. The weather isn't bad here. It only rained twice last week; the first time for three days and the second time for four days. About that coat you wanted me to send; your Uncle Billy Bob said it would be too heavy to send in the mail with the buttons on, so we cut them off and put them in the pockets. Bubba locked his keys in the car yesterday. We were really worried because it took him two hours to get me and your father out. Your sister had a baby this morning, but I haven't found out what it is yet so I don't know if you are an aunt or an uncle. The baby looks just like your brother. Uncle Bobby Ray fell into a whiskey vat last week. Some men tried to pull him out but he fought them off and drowned. We had him cremated. He burned for three days. Three of your friends went off the bridge in a pickup truck. Butch was driving. He rolled down the window and swam to safety. Your other two friends were in the back. They drowned because they couldn't get the tailgate down. There isn't much more news at this time. Nothing much out of the normal has happened. Your favorite aunt, Mom

06-24-2005, 07:15 PM	#4
Master Of Puppets Registered User Join Date: Apr 2005 Posts: 2,020 Recipes: 0 Rep Power: 47	ROFL!!! I love this. I'll email it to all my friends! MOP __________________

06-25-2005, 01:42 AM	#5
Nergal Mel Gibson > you Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: michigan Posts: 517 Recipes: 0 Rep Power: 9	haha. __________________ great big boots! great long laces! our jeans held up by scarlet braces!

06-25-2005, 01:52 AM	#6
NNTB rEVOLutionary Join Date: May 2005 Location: FL Posts: 2,447 Recipes: 0 Rep Power: 163	LMAO ... good post __________________ "This country, with its institutions, belongs to the people who inhabit it. Whenever they shall grow weary of the existing government, they can exercise their constitutional right of amending it, or exercise their revolutionary right to overthrow it." Abraham Lincoln

06-25-2005, 08:55 PM	#7
Massman Aviationfit Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: Strong Island Posts: 250 Recipes: 0 Rep Power: 6	Good read. __________________ Shut up and Lift.

06-24-2005, 06:51 PM	#3
DarkFalcon I've got a RAGING clue! Join Date: May 2005 Location: dnyc99's cleaning staff Posts: 11,511 Recipes: 0 Rep Power: 299	lol.I thought all you Yankies were like this. :p

06-25-2005, 09:08 PM	#8
Sholiz Soldier In Progress Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: Michigan Posts: 3,431 Recipes: 3 Rep Power: 230	... whoever said this was about my family? I don't even have a brother __________________ You hear me before you see me, I got King Kong in the trunk

06-25-2005, 10:05 PM	#9
Pj-Macx Pro Stature Join Date: May 2005 Location: 632 HP SS Posts: 3,337 Recipes: 0 Rep Power: 68	Hey... how did you get ahold of my brothers mail.... __________________ Co-Owner @ BodyBuildingXtreme 2002 Navy Blue Metallic Camaro SS "The Blue Ghost" # 10354 -=LME LSX 454ci built for N20=-

06-28-2005, 10:36 PM	#10
gSlasher327 Pro Stature Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: USA Posts: 185 Recipes: 0 Rep Power: 5	LMAO!!

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