Really depressed...

Aftershock · 09-09-2005, 10:36 PM

Well about a month ago I went to a restaurant with a couple of friends... As I was picking up my friend Dan, he happened to bring along a female friend of his. My initial reaction wasn't much at all, although I did think she was cute. After that we started hanging out regularly, and as I got to know this girl I ended up REALLY liking her. At the time she had a bf... the next couple of weeks was nothing but an emotional roller coaster. She broke up with him... got back together... broke up again, and all this shit would just keep happening. One day I would be happier than I'd ever been before and really have it going good with her, and other days it would seem as though I had no chance in hell, and I would mope around very depressed, having no idea wtf to do. Eventually I found out the feeling was mutual, and couldn't of been happier. Well she needed time after her last bf, and it was all good, and then she ended up liking someone else... at this point she had no idea what to do. This is really frustrating bc I can't even begin to put in words and actually explain the scenario... not even my closest friends know everythihg... it would be impossible to explain it all.

Basically at this point in time... I'm no idiot. She wants to go out with the other guy, and not me... I tried dealing with it, and thought I was doin a good job, but now things are just different between us. We used to have a thing... being that we mutually liked each other... we used to always hang out at this park on summer nights... she wouldn't go if I didn't, bc she wouldn't have fun without me... she insisted on walking home with me from high school and one time actually called my phone when I left for two seconds bc she wasn't leaving without me, etc. She used to think I was hilarious... just so many things. Now today... she seems unenthusiastic to talk online... when she said she was going to the park tonight, I said I couldn't make it... now she just says "ok" and she's still going as far as I know. After school when I was talking to her in a group she almost seemed annoyed when I started talking to her, as if I took her attention of someone else, and she'd rather not talk to me. She didn't walk home with me, and didn't care bc she had to meet someone... she then asked the other guy she likes now all about if he was gonna be there etc. and make sure he waited and crap.

I can't help but feel I've portrayed this story very poorly, and I really feel that I have... it also doesn't even portray nearly enough details to really know what's going on... so it's frustrating... this girl was perfect though. I'd never had trouble getting girls, and have had girlfriends in the past. She was perfect... everything about her. I've never felt the way before and no other girl I can even think of comes close... that thought alone really scares me, as if I'll never be happy with anyone again. I've liked this girl more than anyone ever before, and my hopes had gotten so high at one point... it just feels like everything is gone, and it's all just been snatched out from my fingertips...

I just can't even find anyway to be happy for a second. I just have no idea wtf to do right now... I don't feel like hanging out with friends, anything. No one even truly knows everything I'm going through... it's just impossible. Here I am having written like an esay worth of a story desperately trying and all I see is crap, and a poorly portrayed story.

I really think I loved this girl... I just can't imagine ever feeling the same way with anyone else.

**EME** · 09-09-2005, 10:51 PM

Hey bro.

Let me first say that I hear you and understand.

The reality in life, as much as it's hard to take, is that you can't make someone else feel a certain way about you.
If she felt the same way about you, as you feel about her, she would be with you. But, she's not. As hard as that is to hear, it's the truth.

One thing you don't want to be is a third wheel. There is really no respect in being the third person.

The best thing you can do, for your well being, and your self respect, is to move on and focus on the things that you can control in your life.

Don't hang around waiting for her to break up with her current guy, and to jump right in.

Girls, especially at your age, often want what they can't have. If you are too available and eager.. then she knows she has you whenever she wants you. She can just keep you on a shelf.

Don't be rude to her. Don't be hateful. Don't be mad... but don't be hanging around either... get out and do your own thing.

I'm not saying this as a way to get her back. Getting her back is not what you should be focused on. That may happen, it also may never happen.

Whatever the outcome.. focus on your goals and the things that are important to you in your life.

Looking back at my life.. the things that I thought were incredibly important when I was your age... turned out to be not so important in the long run. Meaning, you have a lot of life that's going to happen to you, that you have no idea about.

I'm defintiely not downplaying your feelings right now. I know they are real, and important to you...... all I'm saying is that in the long run.. there will be lots more and better experiences ahead for you.

Start getting ready for them now. Focus on becoming the person you want to be. Get your goals and dreams together and start working for them. Remember that YOU are the person who is in control of your life and what happens to you.

When it comes to women, here is the best advice I can give you:

Figure out what you want in a woman.... and then start working your ass off the be the kind of person that a woman like that would want....

Always be true to yourself, and be who you want to be.. but also realize that when you set your standards high.. you have to be able to live up to high standards yourself.

Start focusing on being the person you really want to be.. and things you want in life.. including girls.. will come.

Take care and hang in there.

- EME

**NNTB** · 09-09-2005, 10:54 PM

You'll get over it in a few months bro... i've been through it... trust me man i know it hurts and all but better things will come

Just a heads up... if you let yourself fall for girls a lot in the future you'll see how much trouble it is... and soon you'll get sick of getting hurt. Dont let yourself fall so hard for any girl unless its a sure thing ya know?

Keep ya head up and look ahead bro :nosthumbs

Aftershock · 09-09-2005, 10:55 PM

Thanks alot EME, that really helped. I do realize alot of what you said already though. Thing is... I just can't ever imagine feeling the same about another girl, she was just so perfect... it's that thought alone that's really scaring me. I felt so amazing with her... now that's gone, I'll never feel that way again and never be as happy with anyone else.

**EME** · 09-09-2005, 11:03 PM

I felt that way before in my life also... and sometimes I think.. thank God that didn't turn out that way I wanted it to at the time.

If it had, I would never be in the relationship I'm in now.

Things have a way of working out for the right reasons in the long run.

Trust me, you have a lot more great times and great relationships to come.
One thing that's hard to explain is how the things that you want will change as you get older. What seems perfect to you now, won't be what you think is perfect as you get older. That's one reason a lot of people who get married very young have trouble with their marriages. What they want as they get older changes....people grow apart.

I don't mean when they become OLD, LOL.... you'll be amazed at the difference in what you look for when you are 25 vs. when you are 18. It's even different when you are 30.

I know it's hard to imagine right now, but one day you'll look at the relationship you have, and then you'll realize that this girl wasn't really all she seemed to be at the time.

- EME

Quote:

Originally Posted by Aftershock

Thanks alot EME, that really helped. I do realize alot of what you said already though. Thing is... I just can't ever imagine feeling the same about another girl, she was just so perfect... it's that thought alone that's really scaring me. I felt so amazing with her... now that's gone, I'll never feel that way again and never be as happy with anyone else.

Aftershock · 09-09-2005, 11:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by EME

I felt that way before in my life also... and sometimes I think.. thank God that didn't turn out that way I wanted it to at the time.

If it had, I would never be in the relationship I'm in now.

Things have a way of working out for the right reasons in the long run.

Trust me, you have a lot more great times and great relationships to come.
One thing that's hard to explain is how the things that you want will change as you get older. What seems perfect to you now, won't be what you think is perfect as you get older. That's one reason a lot of people who get married very young have trouble with their marriages. What they want as they get older changes....people grow apart.

I don't mean when they become OLD, LOL.... you'll be amazed at the difference in what you look for when you are 25 vs. when you are 18. It's even different when you are 30.

I know it's hard to imagine right now, but one day you'll look at the relationship you have, and then you'll realize that this girl wasn't really all she seemed to be at the time.

- EME

I'm a junior in high school... she's a freshman, lol. Amazing I even really ended up liking her this much. Still, I can pick any girl in the world... and I all think is "that's not kristin...

"

**EME** · 09-09-2005, 11:07 PM

Hang in there bro..

Just wait until you meet college girls.

- EME

Quote:

Originally Posted by Aftershock

I'm a junior in high school... she's a freshman, lol. Amazing I even really ended up liking her this much. Still, I can pick any girl in the world... and I all think is "that's not kristin...

"

Aftershock · 09-09-2005, 11:11 PM

I forgot to mention...

Quote:

Originally Posted by EME

The best thing you can do, for your well being, and your self respect, is to move on and focus on the things that you can control in your life.

Quote:

get out and do your own thing.

Quote:

Whatever the outcome.. focus on your goals and the things that are important to you in your life.

You're right... if it wasn't for lifting right now I'd really be lost. I guess on the positive side of things, it's really motivating me to pay attention to that, ehh?

(the only thing is i'm completely torn right now between bodybuilding and powerlifting... so I even have to run in to trouble with lifting... I can just never be happy, huh

)

**powerman2000** · 09-09-2005, 11:11 PM

EME = Dr. Frasier Crane. :hug5:

Aftershock · 09-09-2005, 11:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by EME

Hang in there bro..

Just wait until you meet college girls.

- EME

I'm telling kendra:p

**EME** · 09-09-2005, 11:15 PM

Kendra is in college right now bro!

- EME

Quote:

Originally Posted by Aftershock

I'm telling kendra:p

**EME** · 09-09-2005, 11:16 PM

LOL

I'm not really a psychologist.. I just play one on TV.

- EME

Quote:

Originally Posted by powerman2000

EME = Dr. Frasier Crane. :hug5:

**Peaked_18** · 09-09-2005, 11:18 PM

[Insert funny comment and flamming comment about Aftershock, realizing the thread is not to be funny other then Powerman's post I may have to take things seriously. Thinking in my head I may out down PIITB, but I know that would make some people mad and Aftershock yell at me, which I don't want. Or I could be loyal and friendly and help my little bro out instead of being rude. Circuling through my mind I don't know were to go, maybe since I haven't talked to chris on AIM in a while he's depressed and it's a cry for help or he needs to some girl help. Might as well read Dustin's guide to getting girls, maybe not. Maybe find another girl he likes who likes him and that would work out for the best, maybe not. Still thinking...]

:mask:

Aftershock · 09-09-2005, 11:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by EME

Kendra is in college right now bro!

- EME

If I remember correctly... your post was plural

"girls"

Anyway... thanks for your support everyone, maybe I'll find some other friends to go to the mall or something and go try to find some other girls I might be interested it. I severely doubt it would help much... or It'd work... I'm just trying to be as optimistic as possible, for my sanity's sake, lol.

Aftershock · 09-09-2005, 11:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Peaked_18

[Insert funny comment and flamming comment about Aftershock, realizing the thread is not to be funny other then Powerman's post I may have to take things seriously. Thinking in my head I may out down PIITB, but I know that would make some people mad and Aftershock yell at me, which I don't want. Or I could be loyal and friendly and help my little bro out instead of being rude. Circuling through my mind I don't know were to go, maybe since I haven't talked to chris on AIM in a while he's depressed and it's a cry for help or he needs to some girl help. Might as well read Dustin's guide to getting girls, maybe not. Maybe find another girl he likes who likes him and that would work out for the best, maybe not. Still thinking...]

:mask:

I don't think I understood a word of that... but it made me laugh. Thanks... I think... =/

**EME** · 09-09-2005, 11:22 PM

Don't worry, I don't think Peaked understood it either...

- EME

Quote:

Originally Posted by Aftershock

I don't think I understood a word of that... but it made me laugh. Thanks... I think... =/

Apootheosis · 09-09-2005, 11:25 PM

:mask: just dont listen to any of that emo shit

09-09-2005, 10:36 PM	#1
Aftershock Steel Pimp Join Date: Apr 2005 Posts: 285 Recipes: 0 Rep Power: 6	Really depressed... Well about a month ago I went to a restaurant with a couple of friends... As I was picking up my friend Dan, he happened to bring along a female friend of his. My initial reaction wasn't much at all, although I did think she was cute. After that we started hanging out regularly, and as I got to know this girl I ended up REALLY liking her. At the time she had a bf... the next couple of weeks was nothing but an emotional roller coaster. She broke up with him... got back together... broke up again, and all this shit would just keep happening. One day I would be happier than I'd ever been before and really have it going good with her, and other days it would seem as though I had no chance in hell, and I would mope around very depressed, having no idea wtf to do. Eventually I found out the feeling was mutual, and couldn't of been happier. Well she needed time after her last bf, and it was all good, and then she ended up liking someone else... at this point she had no idea what to do. This is really frustrating bc I can't even begin to put in words and actually explain the scenario... not even my closest friends know everythihg... it would be impossible to explain it all. Basically at this point in time... I'm no idiot. She wants to go out with the other guy, and not me... I tried dealing with it, and thought I was doin a good job, but now things are just different between us. We used to have a thing... being that we mutually liked each other... we used to always hang out at this park on summer nights... she wouldn't go if I didn't, bc she wouldn't have fun without me... she insisted on walking home with me from high school and one time actually called my phone when I left for two seconds bc she wasn't leaving without me, etc. She used to think I was hilarious... just so many things. Now today... she seems unenthusiastic to talk online... when she said she was going to the park tonight, I said I couldn't make it... now she just says "ok" and she's still going as far as I know. After school when I was talking to her in a group she almost seemed annoyed when I started talking to her, as if I took her attention of someone else, and she'd rather not talk to me. She didn't walk home with me, and didn't care bc she had to meet someone... she then asked the other guy she likes now all about if he was gonna be there etc. and make sure he waited and crap. I can't help but feel I've portrayed this story very poorly, and I really feel that I have... it also doesn't even portray nearly enough details to really know what's going on... so it's frustrating... this girl was perfect though. I'd never had trouble getting girls, and have had girlfriends in the past. She was perfect... everything about her. I've never felt the way before and no other girl I can even think of comes close... that thought alone really scares me, as if I'll never be happy with anyone again. I've liked this girl more than anyone ever before, and my hopes had gotten so high at one point... it just feels like everything is gone, and it's all just been snatched out from my fingertips... I just can't even find anyway to be happy for a second. I just have no idea wtf to do right now... I don't feel like hanging out with friends, anything. No one even truly knows everything I'm going through... it's just impossible. Here I am having written like an esay worth of a story desperately trying and all I see is crap, and a poorly portrayed story. I really think I loved this girl... I just can't imagine ever feeling the same way with anyone else. __________________ sholiz: im drunk and i want some fruit loops Aftershock: no i know you need to maintain a certain level of professionalism on ironmass Aftershock: how easily i can destroy that... sholiz: just in appearance `````````\\|\|\|/ `````````(o o) ,--ooO-----(_)-------------, \|````````` Aftershock ````\| \|```````````is```````````\| \|``````````sexy````````` \| '--------------Ooo----------' ````````\|__\|__\| `````````\|\|\| \|\| ````````ooO Ooo

09-09-2005, 10:51 PM	#2
EME Super Moderator Join Date: Mar 2005 Posts: 3,265 Recipes: 0 Rep Power: 51	Hey bro. Let me first say that I hear you and understand. The reality in life, as much as it's hard to take, is that you can't make someone else feel a certain way about you. If she felt the same way about you, as you feel about her, she would be with you. But, she's not. As hard as that is to hear, it's the truth. One thing you don't want to be is a third wheel. There is really no respect in being the third person. The best thing you can do, for your well being, and your self respect, is to move on and focus on the things that you can control in your life. Don't hang around waiting for her to break up with her current guy, and to jump right in. Girls, especially at your age, often want what they can't have. If you are too available and eager.. then she knows she has you whenever she wants you. She can just keep you on a shelf. Don't be rude to her. Don't be hateful. Don't be mad... but don't be hanging around either... get out and do your own thing. I'm not saying this as a way to get her back. Getting her back is not what you should be focused on. That may happen, it also may never happen. Whatever the outcome.. focus on your goals and the things that are important to you in your life. Looking back at my life.. the things that I thought were incredibly important when I was your age... turned out to be not so important in the long run. Meaning, you have a lot of life that's going to happen to you, that you have no idea about. I'm defintiely not downplaying your feelings right now. I know they are real, and important to you...... all I'm saying is that in the long run.. there will be lots more and better experiences ahead for you. Start getting ready for them now. Focus on becoming the person you want to be. Get your goals and dreams together and start working for them. Remember that YOU are the person who is in control of your life and what happens to you. When it comes to women, here is the best advice I can give you: Figure out what you want in a woman.... and then start working your ass off the be the kind of person that a woman like that would want.... Always be true to yourself, and be who you want to be.. but also realize that when you set your standards high.. you have to be able to live up to high standards yourself. Start focusing on being the person you really want to be.. and things you want in life.. including girls.. will come. Take care and hang in there. - EME __________________ PhysiqueFXonline - Online Nutrition and Training with Michael and Kendra Elias: www.MichaelandKendra.com Team Molecular Nutrition Creative Director FAME Media Group / World Natural Sports Organization Editor-In-Chief FAME Magazine www.FAMEWorldTour.com

09-09-2005, 10:54 PM	#3
NNTB rEVOLutionary Join Date: May 2005 Location: FL Posts: 2,447 Recipes: 0 Rep Power: 163	You'll get over it in a few months bro... i've been through it... trust me man i know it hurts and all but better things will come Just a heads up... if you let yourself fall for girls a lot in the future you'll see how much trouble it is... and soon you'll get sick of getting hurt. Dont let yourself fall so hard for any girl unless its a sure thing ya know? Keep ya head up and look ahead bro :nosthumbs __________________ "This country, with its institutions, belongs to the people who inhabit it. Whenever they shall grow weary of the existing government, they can exercise their constitutional right of amending it, or exercise their revolutionary right to overthrow it." Abraham Lincoln

09-09-2005, 10:55 PM	#4
Aftershock Steel Pimp Join Date: Apr 2005 Posts: 285 Recipes: 0 Rep Power: 6	Thanks alot EME, that really helped. I do realize alot of what you said already though. Thing is... I just can't ever imagine feeling the same about another girl, she was just so perfect... it's that thought alone that's really scaring me. I felt so amazing with her... now that's gone, I'll never feel that way again and never be as happy with anyone else. __________________ sholiz: im drunk and i want some fruit loops Aftershock: no i know you need to maintain a certain level of professionalism on ironmass Aftershock: how easily i can destroy that... sholiz: just in appearance `````````\\|\|\|/ `````````(o o) ,--ooO-----(_)-------------, \|````````` Aftershock ````\| \|```````````is```````````\| \|``````````sexy````````` \| '--------------Ooo----------' ````````\|__\|__\| `````````\|\|\| \|\| ````````ooO Ooo

09-09-2005, 11:11 PM	#9
powerman2000 The Old Moderator Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Colorado Posts: 4,188 Recipes: 0 Rep Power: 202	EME = Dr. Frasier Crane. :hug5: __________________ Don't forget to periodize Best BP 507 lbs competitive Best Squat 705 lbs competitive Best DL 650 lbs competitive Guns don't kill people, men who come home early do. My workout log http://www.ironmass.com/forums/showthread.php?t=6247

09-09-2005, 11:18 PM	#13
Peaked_18 a la commode Join Date: May 2005 Posts: 4,247 Recipes: 2 Rep Power: 96	[Insert funny comment and flamming comment about Aftershock, realizing the thread is not to be funny other then Powerman's post I may have to take things seriously. Thinking in my head I may out down PIITB, but I know that would make some people mad and Aftershock yell at me, which I don't want. Or I could be loyal and friendly and help my little bro out instead of being rude. Circuling through my mind I don't know were to go, maybe since I haven't talked to chris on AIM in a while he's depressed and it's a cry for help or he needs to some girl help. Might as well read Dustin's guide to getting girls, maybe not. Maybe find another girl he likes who likes him and that would work out for the best, maybe not. Still thinking...] :mask:

09-09-2005, 11:25 PM	#17
Apootheosis Pro Stature Join Date: May 2005 Posts: 625 Recipes: 0 Rep Power: 10	:mask: just dont listen to any of that emo shit __________________ lawlz