DarkFalcon

7 o'clock in the morning and the rays from the sun wake me
I'm stretching and yawning in a bed that don’t belong to me
Then a voice yells “good morning darling” from the bathroom
Then she comes out and kisses me and to my surprise she isn’t you
Now I've got this dumb look on my face like “what have I done”?
How could I be so stupid to have been laid in to the morning sun
Must have lost the track of time, oh what was on my mind?
From the club went to her home, didn’t plan to stay that long
Here I am quickly trying to put on my clothes
Searching for my car keys trying to get on up out the door
Then she stretched her hands in front of me
Said “you can’t go this way”
Looked at her like she was crazy
Said “woman move out my way”
I Said “I got a wife at home”
She said “please don’t go out there”
“Lady I’ve got to get home”
She said her husband was coming from the stairs
“?? quiet, hurry up and get in the closet”
She said “don’t you make a sound or some ____ is going down
I Said “why don’t I just go out the window”
“yes, except for one thing, we’re on the 5th floor”
Think, think… “quick put me in the closet”
And now I'm in this darkest closet trying to figure out
Just how I'm gonna get my crazy ass out this house
And he walks in and yells “I’m home”
She says “honey I'm in the room”
He walks in there with a smile on his face saying “honey I've been missing you”
She hops all over him and says “I've cooked and ran your bathwater”
I'm telling you now this girl is so good she deserves an Oscar
The girl’s in the bed he starts snatching her clothes off
I'm in the closet like man, what the f_ck is going on?
You’re not going to believe it but things get deeper as the story goes on
Next thing you know a call comes through on my cell phone
I tried my best to quickly put it on vibrate
But from the way he acted I could tell it was too late
He hopped up and said “there’s a mystery going on and I'm going to solve it”
And I'm like “God please don’t let this man open his closet”
He walks in the bathroom and looks behind the door
She says “baby come back to bed”
He says “say no more”
He pulls back the shower curtain while she’s biting her nails
Then he walks back to the room. Right now I'm sweating like hell
Checks under the bed (bed)
then under the dresser (dresser)
He looks at the closet (closet)
I pull out my berretta (berretta)
He walks up to the closet (closet)
He’s close up to the closet (closet)
Now he’s at the closet (closet)
Now he’s opening the closet (closet, closet, closet)

DarkFalcon

Well now he’s staring at me like as if he was staring in the mirror
She yells, “Honey let me explain”
He says, “You don’t have to go no further”
“I can clearly see what’s going on behind my back, in my bed, in my home”
Then I said, “wait a minute now hold on”
I said, “Mister we can work this out”
She said “honey don’t lose control”
I tried to get him to calm down
He said “oh I should have known
That you would go and do some bogus shit up in my house
But the Christian in me gave you the benefit of the doubt”
I said “we need to resolve this”
And he stepped to me I’m like “whoa
There’s a reason I’m in this closet”
He says “yeah? What are you talking clothes?”
“I met this girl at the bodja club and she told me she didn’t have a man”
Then he said “man please I'd kill you if you didn’t have that gun in your hand”
And then I said “but your chick chose me”
He said “don’t give me that mack shit please”
His phone goes off and then things get a little more interesting
He steps a little closer I point my gun and say “I’m not the one you after”
He says “something I bet you didn’t know my man… Did she tell you that I was a pastor?”
I said “well good that’s better right? Why can't we handle this Christian-like?”
And I started to put the gun down until I saw his face still had a frown
She started crying "saying “baby I’m sorry”
Then he said “baby not as sorry as you’re gonna be”
I started inching out
He says “no I want you to see this”
He said “I gotta get out this house, and not ‘til I reveal this secret”
I'm like “what is going on inside his head?”
Then he takes his phone and calls someone up himself
“Hello” (hello?)
“Baby?” (aha)
“Turn the car around” (what’s going on over there?)
“Listen, I just need for you to get right back here now”
He looks at me and says “well since we’re all coming out the closet
I'm not about to be the only one that’s broken-hearted”
She said “what do you mean?”
He said “just wait and see”
I said “somebody better talk to me”
And then his phone rings
He picks up and somebody says “sweetheart I'm downstairs”
And he’s like “I’ll buzz you up
I'm on the 5th floor hurry take the stairs”
And I'm like “who is this mystery lady that you’re talking to?”
And he says “in time you both will know the shocking truth
Baby this is something I’ve been wanting to get off my chest for a long, long time”
And I said “nigga I'm gonna shoot you both if you don’t say what’s on your mind”
He said “wait I hear somebody coming up the stairs”
And I'm looking at the door
He says “I think you better sit down in the chair”
I said “I'm gonna count to 4”
“1…”
he says “mister wait!”
“2…”
he says “please don’t shoot”
“3…”
"he says “don’t shoot me”
“4…”
She screams
Then a knock on the door
The gun’s in my hand
He opens the door
I’ll be goddammned it’s a man
(man… man… man…)

DarkFalcon

Here we are. The four of us...
In total shock... Me and her.
I closed my mouth and swallowed spit,
And I'm thinking to myself, "This is some deep shit!"
And I said "So you're gonna tell me he's the one he's been talking to?"
He says, "Yes", I say, "No", he says, "Yes", I say, "No", he says, "It's the truth!"

I said, "All of ya'll ass is crazy, let me up out this door,
Because this is way more than I bargained for"
She says, "Wait, I'm sure we can all fix this"
Then I said, "I'm late, plus I ain't gotta damn thing to do with this!"
But then she said, "Wouldn't you just like to know how it all began?"
Then I thought to myself, and said, 'Quick, you got three minutes'
Then it got real quiet, I said, "Somebody start talking"

She said, "My God, Rufus! I've got just one question,
how could you do something like this? I'm so hurt!"
He looked at her and said, "Bitch please, you've got your nerves
With all your club hoppin', lyin' when you said you was shoppin'.
And now here you are in our home, and you're callin' me wrong."

"Okay you busted me! And that much I agree, you caught me cheatinggg!
But this is a little extreme!"

He said, "You are my wife sleeping behind my back.
And now I come home and you got him in the closet, how extreme is that?!"
And she said, "But she's a he!"
And he said, "Please, you can't judge me"
She said, "But this is crazy!"
And I said, "Stop arguing!
I did not stay here to hear you chew each other out,
So get to the point, or I swear I'm out!"

"Excuse me, please, but I think I can explain what's going on in here.
My name is Chuck and I been knowing Rufus about a year,
At midnight creeping around there not staying around to standing living in hell, sleepin in and out of hotels..."
I said, "Brother, spare the details!"
Then Rufus said, "Chuck, please! Don't say nothing else!"
Then she screams, "Rufus you son of a bitch,"
He says, "Cathy, go to hell!"
I said, "I thought you said your name was Mary, that what you said at the party.
Man this is gettin scary imma shoot somebody!"
Then Rufus start yelling and screaming saying, "Cathy, this is all your fault!"
She throws a pillow at him and says, "You were creeping too, the only difference is you didn't get caught!"
Chuck screamed out, "We're in love!"
Cathy says, "Love my ass!"
Rufus said thei're getting married then I shoot one in the air!

I said, "Not annother one of you sons of bitches say a word!
Cuz all this shit I'm goin thru is unheard!"
I grabbed my cellular
I said, "This is so wrong,"
I call up my home,
And a man picks up the phone phone phone phone.....

DarkFalcon

Now I'm dashin home
Doin 85
Swervin lane to lane
Wit fire in my eyes
I got a million thoughts
Runnin through my mind
I'm thinkin about what imma do and who I'm gonna do it to when I get home
How could I have been so blind
And then I look in my rear view
I cannot believe this
(Whoo whoo whoo)
Damn, here comes a police man
He drove right up on me and flashed his light
Then I pulled over without thinkin twice
He hopped out the car and walked over to me
And said license and registration please
I looked up at him and said
Officer, is there somethin wrong
He said no, except you were were doin 85 in a 60 mile zone
Then I said officer
Let me explain please
Ya see the truth of the matter is
Is that I have an emergency
He said no excuses
And no exception
I said this is some bull...as he gave me the ticket
Said have a nice day and walked away
I said yeah right and drove away
Then I turned my radio on
And did 70 all the way home
I pulled up in the driveway
Hopped out and slammed the car door
Then go in through the back
Bust up in the house and she screamin
Whats all that for
Then I'm like woman I called this house
And a man picked up my phone
Then she said calm down
Did you forget
My brother Twan came home
Oh...
And thats all I could say was oh
Wit a stupid look on my face
Said I forgot he came home today
And she said thats okay
Because honey I understand
She said you dont have to explain
Then I took her by the hand
I kissed her and then we went to the room
Then I turned some music on
Apologized one more time
Then went down and start gettin it on
And she started bitin her lip
Grabbing me and makin noise
Now we makin love and she's my ear whisperin
It's all yours
I said I love you
And she said I love ya, too
Then a tear fell up out my eye
Then I called her my sunshine
And then she looked at me
And said baby go deeper please
And thats when I start goin crazy
Like I was tryin to give her a baby
The room feel like its spinnin
We keep turnin and turnin
As if we were in a whirlwind
The way our toes are curlin
The next thing ya know, she starts goin real wild
And starts screamin my name
Then I said baby, we must slow down
Before I bust a vessel in my brain
And she said please no dont stop
And I said I caught a cramp
And she said please keep on goin
I said my leg is about to crack
Then she cries out
Oh my goodness, I'm about to climax
And I said cool
Climax
Just let go of my leg
She says you're the perfect lover
I said I cant go no futher
Then I flip back the cover
Oh my God, a rubber...

DarkFalcon

And now I’m like
well, well, well, what the **** is this
a condom in my bed
you better start talking bitch
fore I take a match and burn this mother****er down
I said you better start talking and start talking right Goddamn now
then she said baby I’m so speechless
then I said my baby you gonna be breathless
if you don’t start talking quick
woman I’m gonna have a fit
you don’t know what you ****ing with
girl you better cut the bull shit
now its obvious somebody has been all up in my home
in my bed plus I smell cigarettes
now I’m sniffing and looking around
suspicious like someone’s here
then I looked in her eyes and in her eyes there was so much fear
pull out my gun and says is he still here
she shook her head and said no
I’m checking behind every door
she cried out he left right after you called

I said what the **** was you thinking
thought that I wouldn’t find this out
then I said you must be crazy or
on crack to have somebody up in my mother****ing house
she hopped up and said that’s enough
she said I can’t take no more
and then she said you’ve made your point
but now it’s time to even the score
she said I know all about last night
and where you went when you left the club
said that’s right ****** I was there
with this guy in the back of the club
I said I thought you was with your girls
she said I thought you was with you guys
she said you was at that bitches house
and don’t you even try to act surprised
I said babe she said shut up
don’t you say a word
it ain’t nothing you can say
that I ain’t already heard
then I said woman don’t you try to turn it all around
cause the fact still remains that someone else was in my house
then she said youre right about that
something did go down
but I don’t have to turn it around
cause what goes around comes back around
I’m moving a little closer to her
she’s tripping over the furniture
she said wait precious let me explain
I said no need to just give me his name
and then she says uh un
I say uh what
she says please sit down in the chair
and I say no I’m standing up
and then she cries out I’m so scare to tell
you because of what you might do
and I scream now look girl you better give me this man’s name
and I’m not playing with you
she says ok wipes her nose then asks me about a girl name tina
I thought to myself says it sounds familiar
then said that’ll I probably know her if I seen her
and then I said any way girl what the hell has that got to do
with this man
she said you know my girl roxanne
I said who the hell is roxanne
then she says roxanne’s a friend of mine
who knows this guy name Chuck
Chuck’s cool with this guy named Rufus
and I’m sitting there like what the ****
then she says Rufus wife Cathy
we both went to high school
she introduced me to the policeman that stopped you

Pioneer

he likes to pee on 16 yo girls, what do you expect?

__________________
"A Marine in battle fears disgracing himself by running. He fears not losing his life, but losing his honor. He may not be able to preserve his life, but he can always preserve his honor. That much is within his power... To fear disgrace but not death, to fear not duty but dereliction from duty -- this is courage."

-FMFM 1-0 "Leading Marines" pg. 43

Drive on

LoveThyPain

__________________
Life's a bitch, be a dog and hump it.

DarkFalcon

lol

NNTB

__________________

Peaked_18

...

That song was pretty bad. I don't know about gay though, that is just a mean comment.

The gayest song ever was Gay by 69Gang

schroeder

what about "I'm too sexy"...i forget who its was by....but it was horrible. "I'm too sexy for my shirt, too sexy for my shirt, awww yea."


...horrible

__________________
Live from Baghdad!

Ich bin gross und stark!

dnyc99

It's by: Right Said Fred


"I'm a model you know what I mean
And I do my little turn on the catwalk
Yeah on the catwalk
On the catwalk, yeah
I shake my little touche on the catwalk"




LoL

DarkFalcon

LMAO at that smilie. :rofl:

DarkFalcon

Mean? Gay=lame=sucks=gay what's mean about that?

DarkFalcon

LOL!! Nice one NNTB! :rofl:

dnyc99

Geez DF..how many pages is that 'gay' song anyways? LoL I read part of it and felt like jumping out the window. UGH!

Ihateeveryone