Gappa's funny ish thread

Gappa238 · 12-03-2005, 04:17 AM

Gappa238 · 12-03-2005, 04:20 AM

Gappa238 · 12-03-2005, 04:22 AM

The lady was a Southern Baptist who attended services and taught Sunday School every week. On one Sunday, an out of town acquaintance, a gentleman, was in the pew right behind her. He noted what a fine looking woman she was.

While they were taking up the collection, the man leaned forward and said, "Hey, how about you and I having dinner on Tuesday?"

"Why Yes, that would be nice," the lady responded.

Well, the gentleman couldn't believe his luck. On Tuesday he picked the lady up and took her to the finest restaurant in that part of South Carolina. When they sat down, the gentleman looked over at her and asked, "Would you like a cocktail before dinner?"

"Oh, no," said our fine example of southern womanhood, "What ever would I tell my Sunday School class?"

Well, our gentleman was setback a bit, so he didn't say much until after dinner. When he pulled out a pack of cigarettes and asked, "Would you like a smoke?"

"Oh my, goodness no," said the woman "I couldn't face my Sunday School class if I did?"

Well, our boy felt pretty low after that, so they left, got in his car and as he was driving the lady home, they passed the local Holiday Inn. He'd been morally rebuffed twice already, so he figured he had nothing to lose so he ventured forth with, "Ummm, how would you like to stop at this motel?"

"Sure, that would be nice," she said in anticipation.

The gentleman couldn't believe his ears, and did a fast U-Turn right then and there and drove back to the motel and checked in. The next morning, after a wild and passionate night of the most incredible sex and perversions imaginable, the gentleman awoke first. He looked at the lovely Dixie darling lying there in the bed and with remorse thought, "What the hell have I done?

He shook her awake and pleaded, "I've got to ask you one thing, whatever are you going to tell your Sunday School class?"

The lady said, "The same thing I always tell them. You don't have to smoke and drink to have a good time"

Gappa238 · 12-03-2005, 04:31 AM

Never scare a brotha

Gappa238 · 12-06-2005, 05:55 PM

Gappa238 · 12-06-2005, 06:01 PM

Garbage men

Gappa238 · 12-06-2005, 06:06 PM

copy machine

Gappa238 · 12-08-2005, 01:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gappa238

Crazy x-mas lights!

The end is amazing

http://www.daytondailynews.com/searc...lightsweb.html

Car crash, heavy traffic turn out Christmas light show

By Richard Wilson
Cox News Service
Wednesday, December 07, 2005
DEERFIELD TWP. — Sheriff's deputies asked the owner who lit up his house with 25,000 Christmas lights synched to music to turn off the display after a traffic accident Tuesday night.

Deerfield Twp. resident Carson Williams agreed to shut down his holiday decorations indefinitely.

Williams told a Cincinnati television station that sheriff's deputies could not reach the traffic accident because of the traffic lined up in his neighborhood.

The display caught attention across the nation on network TV and on the Internet because the lights on the Williams house and filling their yard are synchronized by computer with music broadcast to car radios. There are three songs in the 12-minute display: Frosty the Snowman by the Jackson 5; God Bless the USA by Lee Greenwood and Wizards of Winter by the Trans-Siberian Orchestra.

Williams turned his display on the week of Thanksgiving and motorists have lined up between 6 and 10 p.m. ever since.

For the time being, the only place to view the Williams' display will be online.

"He told us if we start having traffic problems that he would shut the display down for a while," Warren County sheriff's Lt. Ed Petrey said Wednesday morning.

Two cars collided in a minor accident at 7:30 p.m. Tuesday on Simpson Creek Drive, which leads to Winding Creek Court, where the Williams live near Mason in southern Warren County. No one was injured.

Williams is an electrical engineer who said his family spent about $10,000 on the display. He had promised his neighbors they would shut it down if there were problems.

"If I get a single complaint I'll shut it down," Carson had said Monday night.

He could not be reached for comment Wednesday.

See Thursday's newspaper for more about this story.

Gappa238 · 12-08-2005, 01:58 PM

Rules Of Bedroom Golf

1. Each player shall furnish his own equipment for play.
2. Play must be permitted by the owner of the hole.
3. Unlike outdoor golf, the object is to get the club in the hole and
keep the balls out.
4. For most effective play, the club should have a firm shaft. Course owners are permitted to check shaft stiffness before play begins.
5. Course owners reserve the right to restrict club length to avoid
damage to the hole.
6. The object of the game is to take as many strokes as necessary
until the course owner is satisfied that play is completed. Failure to do so may result in being denied permission to play the course again.
7. It is considered bad form to begin playing the hole immediately
upon arrival at the course. The experienced player will normally take time
to admire the entire course with special attention to well-formed
bunkers.
8. Players are cautioned not to mention other courses they have
played, or are currently playing, to the owner of the course being played. Angry course owners have been known to damage players' equipment for this reason.
9. Players are encouraged to bring proper rain gear for their own protection
10. Players should ensure that the match has been properly scheduled, particularly when a new course is being played for the first time. Previous players have been known to become irate if they discover someone else playing on what they considered to be a private course.
11. Players should not assume a course is in shape for play at all
times. Some players may be embarrassed if they find the course to be
temporarily under repair. Players are advised to be extremely tactful in this situation. More advanced players will find alternative means of play when this is the case.
12. The course owner is responsible for manicuring and pruning any
bush around the hole to allow for improved viewing of alignment with and approach to the hole.
13. Players are advised to obtain the course owner's permission before attempting to play the back nine.
14. Slow play is encouraged. However, players should be prepared to
proceed at a quicker pace, at least temporarily, at the course owner's
request.
15. It is considered outstanding performance, time permitting, to play
the same hole several times in one match.

Gappa238 · 12-08-2005, 02:09 PM

A woman was walking down the street when she was approached by a man.
The
man said, "I must have you right now! I'll drop 500 dollars on the
ground at
your feet and in the time it takes for you to pick it up I can have my
way
with you from behind!"

The woman thought it over and told the man to wait a minute. She called
her
girlfriend on her cell phone and told her about the man's proposition.

Her girlfriend said, "When he drops the $500 on the ground I'm sure you
can
pick it up and run before he gets his pants down. Call me back and tell
me
what happened."

An hour and a half later the lady had still not called back so her
friend
called her, "What happened?" the girlfriend asked.

The lady said, "That S.O.B. had $500 in quarters!"

Gappa238 · 12-08-2005, 02:22 PM

http://media.putfile.com/Celulotico

Gappa238 · 12-08-2005, 02:25 PM

http://media.putfile.com/FoxHat29

Gappa238 · 12-08-2005, 04:47 PM

http://media.putfile.com/Stabhochsprung
This just looks painful

dnyc99 · 12-09-2005, 02:00 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gappa238

A woman was walking down the street when she was approached by a man.
The
man said, "I must have you right now! I'll drop 500 dollars on the
ground at
your feet and in the time it takes for you to pick it up I can have my
way
with you from behind!"

The woman thought it over and told the man to wait a minute. She called
her
girlfriend on her cell phone and told her about the man's proposition.

Her girlfriend said, "When he drops the $500 on the ground I'm sure you
can
pick it up and run before he gets his pants down. Call me back and tell
me
what happened."

An hour and a half later the lady had still not called back so her
friend
called her, "What happened?" the girlfriend asked.

The lady said, "That S.O.B. had $500 in quarters!"

Doh!!

Gappa238 · 12-13-2005, 02:22 PM

http://rapidshare.de/files/7226937/nightb4xmas.wm.html

12-03-2005, 04:17 AM	#1
Gappa238 Fast guy in training Join Date: May 2005 Location: Gappaville Posts: 614 Recipes: 0 Rep Power: 25	Gappa's funny ish thread Police chase __________________ My WS4SB II log -> Me pimping AX in my current Mass FX and Superdrol - NG log ->

12-03-2005, 04:20 AM	#2
Gappa238 Fast guy in training Join Date: May 2005 Location: Gappaville Posts: 614 Recipes: 0 Rep Power: 25	Crazy x-mas lights! The end is amazing __________________ My WS4SB II log -> Me pimping AX in my current Mass FX and Superdrol - NG log ->

12-03-2005, 04:22 AM	#3
Gappa238 Fast guy in training Join Date: May 2005 Location: Gappaville Posts: 614 Recipes: 0 Rep Power: 25	Southern Baptist Lady The lady was a Southern Baptist who attended services and taught Sunday School every week. On one Sunday, an out of town acquaintance, a gentleman, was in the pew right behind her. He noted what a fine looking woman she was. While they were taking up the collection, the man leaned forward and said, "Hey, how about you and I having dinner on Tuesday?" "Why Yes, that would be nice," the lady responded. Well, the gentleman couldn't believe his luck. On Tuesday he picked the lady up and took her to the finest restaurant in that part of South Carolina. When they sat down, the gentleman looked over at her and asked, "Would you like a cocktail before dinner?" "Oh, no," said our fine example of southern womanhood, "What ever would I tell my Sunday School class?" Well, our gentleman was setback a bit, so he didn't say much until after dinner. When he pulled out a pack of cigarettes and asked, "Would you like a smoke?" "Oh my, goodness no," said the woman "I couldn't face my Sunday School class if I did?" Well, our boy felt pretty low after that, so they left, got in his car and as he was driving the lady home, they passed the local Holiday Inn. He'd been morally rebuffed twice already, so he figured he had nothing to lose so he ventured forth with, "Ummm, how would you like to stop at this motel?" "Sure, that would be nice," she said in anticipation. The gentleman couldn't believe his ears, and did a fast U-Turn right then and there and drove back to the motel and checked in. The next morning, after a wild and passionate night of the most incredible sex and perversions imaginable, the gentleman awoke first. He looked at the lovely Dixie darling lying there in the bed and with remorse thought, "What the hell have I done? He shook her awake and pleaded, "I've got to ask you one thing, whatever are you going to tell your Sunday School class?" The lady said, "The same thing I always tell them. You don't have to smoke and drink to have a good time" __________________ My WS4SB II log -> Me pimping AX in my current Mass FX and Superdrol - NG log ->

12-03-2005, 04:31 AM	#4
Gappa238 Fast guy in training Join Date: May 2005 Location: Gappaville Posts: 614 Recipes: 0 Rep Power: 25	Trick or treat Never scare a brotha __________________ My WS4SB II log -> Me pimping AX in my current Mass FX and Superdrol - NG log ->

12-06-2005, 05:55 PM	#5
Gappa238 Fast guy in training Join Date: May 2005 Location: Gappaville Posts: 614 Recipes: 0 Rep Power: 25	__________________ My WS4SB II log -> Me pimping AX in my current Mass FX and Superdrol - NG log ->

12-06-2005, 06:01 PM	#6
Gappa238 Fast guy in training Join Date: May 2005 Location: Gappaville Posts: 614 Recipes: 0 Rep Power: 25	Garbage men __________________ My WS4SB II log -> Me pimping AX in my current Mass FX and Superdrol - NG log ->

12-06-2005, 06:06 PM	#7
Gappa238 Fast guy in training Join Date: May 2005 Location: Gappaville Posts: 614 Recipes: 0 Rep Power: 25	copy machine __________________ My WS4SB II log -> Me pimping AX in my current Mass FX and Superdrol - NG log ->

12-08-2005, 01:58 PM	#9
Gappa238 Fast guy in training Join Date: May 2005 Location: Gappaville Posts: 614 Recipes: 0 Rep Power: 25	Bedroom golf Rules Of Bedroom Golf 1. Each player shall furnish his own equipment for play. 2. Play must be permitted by the owner of the hole. 3. Unlike outdoor golf, the object is to get the club in the hole and keep the balls out. 4. For most effective play, the club should have a firm shaft. Course owners are permitted to check shaft stiffness before play begins. 5. Course owners reserve the right to restrict club length to avoid damage to the hole. 6. The object of the game is to take as many strokes as necessary until the course owner is satisfied that play is completed. Failure to do so may result in being denied permission to play the course again. 7. It is considered bad form to begin playing the hole immediately upon arrival at the course. The experienced player will normally take time to admire the entire course with special attention to well-formed bunkers. 8. Players are cautioned not to mention other courses they have played, or are currently playing, to the owner of the course being played. Angry course owners have been known to damage players' equipment for this reason. 9. Players are encouraged to bring proper rain gear for their own protection 10. Players should ensure that the match has been properly scheduled, particularly when a new course is being played for the first time. Previous players have been known to become irate if they discover someone else playing on what they considered to be a private course. 11. Players should not assume a course is in shape for play at all times. Some players may be embarrassed if they find the course to be temporarily under repair. Players are advised to be extremely tactful in this situation. More advanced players will find alternative means of play when this is the case. 12. The course owner is responsible for manicuring and pruning any bush around the hole to allow for improved viewing of alignment with and approach to the hole. 13. Players are advised to obtain the course owner's permission before attempting to play the back nine. 14. Slow play is encouraged. However, players should be prepared to proceed at a quicker pace, at least temporarily, at the course owner's request. 15. It is considered outstanding performance, time permitting, to play the same hole several times in one match. __________________ My WS4SB II log -> Me pimping AX in my current Mass FX and Superdrol - NG log ->

12-08-2005, 02:09 PM	#10
Gappa238 Fast guy in training Join Date: May 2005 Location: Gappaville Posts: 614 Recipes: 0 Rep Power: 25	Having Your Way A woman was walking down the street when she was approached by a man. The man said, "I must have you right now! I'll drop 500 dollars on the ground at your feet and in the time it takes for you to pick it up I can have my way with you from behind!" The woman thought it over and told the man to wait a minute. She called her girlfriend on her cell phone and told her about the man's proposition. Her girlfriend said, "When he drops the $500 on the ground I'm sure you can pick it up and run before he gets his pants down. Call me back and tell me what happened." An hour and a half later the lady had still not called back so her friend called her, "What happened?" the girlfriend asked. The lady said, "That S.O.B. had $500 in quarters!" __________________ My WS4SB II log -> Me pimping AX in my current Mass FX and Superdrol - NG log ->

12-08-2005, 02:22 PM	#11
Gappa238 Fast guy in training Join Date: May 2005 Location: Gappaville Posts: 614 Recipes: 0 Rep Power: 25	Your wife called http://media.putfile.com/Celulotico __________________ My WS4SB II log -> Me pimping AX in my current Mass FX and Superdrol - NG log ->

12-08-2005, 02:25 PM	#12
Gappa238 Fast guy in training Join Date: May 2005 Location: Gappaville Posts: 614 Recipes: 0 Rep Power: 25	Wear a fox hat http://media.putfile.com/FoxHat29 __________________ My WS4SB II log -> Me pimping AX in my current Mass FX and Superdrol - NG log ->

12-08-2005, 04:47 PM	#13
Gappa238 Fast guy in training Join Date: May 2005 Location: Gappaville Posts: 614 Recipes: 0 Rep Power: 25	Pole vault http://media.putfile.com/Stabhochsprung This just looks painful __________________ My WS4SB II log -> Me pimping AX in my current Mass FX and Superdrol - NG log ->

12-13-2005, 02:22 PM	#15
Gappa238 Fast guy in training Join Date: May 2005 Location: Gappaville Posts: 614 Recipes: 0 Rep Power: 25	Night before Christmas PC version http://rapidshare.de/files/7226937/nightb4xmas.wm.html __________________ My WS4SB II log -> Me pimping AX in my current Mass FX and Superdrol - NG log ->