Jordan×core

I was wondering if I could get some advice on a paper that I'm having to write for my history class.

I think the body is good, but the conclusion I'm not so sure about.

Imperialism

Although imperialism in the United States was slowly fading, many of the tactics stayed the same and were still being used. The United States still used brute force if the foreign country did not abide by the policy that was issued. This caused the outlook of America to be seen as a world power that was dominating weak countries. The United States did go for a peaceful way in the way of polices and treaties, but in the end it would eventually end a catastrophic turn of events.
The United States in the late 19th century had some very well thought out policies. The people that wrote them learned from some of the old ways that brute force wasn’t always the way to go. In fact, in President Roosevelt’s annual message to Congress he talks about the United States not being a power hungry nation but striking at the chance of opportunity when it arises. He says that if a country has a stable government and a fairly good economy, then the United State will stay out of it. On the other hand if a country is struggling financially and economically, the United States will intervene. This was applied in renewal of the Monroe Doctrine, which was later renamed as the Roosevelt Corollary. The new corollary stated that if any Latin America country was struggling in any way and it was slowly sliding downhill, the United States would come into play and help them establish themselves. Other policies like the Platt amendment, stated that the United States had the right to establish a naval base in Cuba without any interference. All of these policies showed that the United States was becoming a world power and had a “big brother” effect over the small, less efficient countries. The United States started an Open Door policy to China which was to end it’s isolation period from other countries. It stated that all nations should have equal trade and industrial rights with China. This was a more peaceful way of dealing with things instead of just taking over the country.
The United States had different reasons for taking over the nations in the late 19th century to early 20th century. The reasons in the early 19th century was to obtain land such as the Louisiana Purchase and the Texas Annexation. The Spanish - American war was over the California and New Mexico territories. The United States viewed the nation’s such as the Philippines and Cuba and Hawaii as an economic outburst. Hawaii was used for its sugar fields and prime location. Cuba was a hold for a United States Naval base. The naval base was an important factor to the United States because of what Alfred T. Mahan said in his book “The Interest of America in Sea Power”. This stated that the key to a world power was control of the sea. Another reason that the United States was acquiring new nations was the theory of Social Darwinism. This was based on the view from Charles Darwin’s theory of evolution which emphasized that only the strong survived and that was how the United States viewed the nations. They thought they were weak and were in need of social support. This was based on the view of Manifest Destiny which said that God supplied all the land for the people and it was their duty to take it.
All these factors made America what it is today. This nation has come along which since the 18th century from a weak nation with a lack of leadership and small decisions into a great world power and a dominating force economically and military wise. In conclusion this is the change between America’s imperialistic ways.

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How did I fail women studies? I love bitches.

If there is no enemy there is no fight...if there is no fight there is no victor...if there is no victor there is no crown.....now we have a enemy we have a fight and we will win the crown.

bubba g

You need to seperate it into paragraphs... lol

Other then that, it looks pretty good..

Jordan×core

Ha yeah I know I'll go into editor and do it a bit later.

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How did I fail women studies? I love bitches.

If there is no enemy there is no fight...if there is no fight there is no victor...if there is no victor there is no crown.....now we have a enemy we have a fight and we will win the crown.

skelooth

Very good, though I thought the first paragraph felt a little choppy, maybe you can rework the thesis sentence to flow more? Other than that it got better as it went on, you are a good writer.

Just remember that when you pick a college, make sure they will accept your AP credits!

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skelooth

In conclusion this is the change between America’s imperialistic ways.

This is the other sentence that I think needs reworking. Define what "this" is and it should be okay. IE

This nation has gone from a weak young nation to a great world power boasting a powerful military and economy. These changes in policies over the years have helped define a nation and end an era of imperialism.

If you use my paragraph I am telling your teacher :P

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DJSTARER

get rid of uneeded words. "Filler."


example:


remove uneeded words.

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Drew1200

remove un-needed words.

Or to make this grammatically correct, "Remove the words that aren't required."


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Jordan×core

Yeah,

I don't mind writing papers but our teachers love alot of specific factual information.

I basically loaded my two body paragraphis for it.

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How did I fail women studies? I love bitches.

If there is no enemy there is no fight...if there is no fight there is no victor...if there is no victor there is no crown.....now we have a enemy we have a fight and we will win the crown.

Succio

overall its pretty good.

The flow is a little choppy, as stated by skel.

you should also use a catchy hook, to make someone want to read it.

I would also change your thesis a little, sounds kinda crappy. You should have your thesis, but reworded, in your conclusion and take it from there. the ending sentence is a bit weak, doesnt really end it for me IMO.

i also agree with skel, you are saying ''this'' and ''that'' too much.

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Midnight_Lifter

You need to add bubba g's avatar to the margin...

Just sayin'

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Drew1200

succios right...get that flow right, you want to people to be bouncin once they hear you rhyme. add a primo beat to get that hook in, and change the title to "imperialisms a b*tch"

woot woot